This week for online learning are writing was about if everyone was vegetarian
N.L: to narrate
R.T. Include character
“Hey, have you heard about when everyone was vegetarian?” said Luna. “No I did not” said Lucy. “Hey! You two stop talking, the teacher is talking” said Jenny, the teacher cleared her voice. “What are you guys talking about?” asked the teacher looking at both of them. “Oh you guys are talking about when everyone was vegetarian” said John looking behind. “Want me to tell the story?” asked John. “Sure we would love to hear it” said Luna and Lucy.
“Miss, they are talking in the back,” said Jenny. She looked around and smiled. “Could you tell us about when everyone was vegetarian?” said Tim. “I was just about to explain the story to you guys,” the teacher said. The teacher cleared her voice. “It was a long time ago in 2021 the government forced all people to become vegetarian.” “Really!?” everyone said, “yes let's carry on with the story” the teacher continued. “All the animals stopped getting killed and farmers were harvesting fruit and vegetables all year round. They were tired and hard working, but people were still angry. Protests started all over the country and the government said they will close the border if there are anymore protests.
The months were passing by and no animals were getting killed and if you dared to kill or eat an animal you would be sent to jail for your whole life. One man decided to kill a sheep and he went to jail the next day. No one could change the government's mind, but one man did. His name was Freddie, he was the one who snuck into the government's house, he went into the government's room and started saying random words to hypnotize her and it worked. Freddie left her there on the chair. He made the government change the rules and let everyone have meat but there was on problem Freddie made everyone the boss of them. Everyone tried to avoid Freddie only 15 people did not get hypnotized. Now Freddie is locked in jail for his whole life and the government changed her mind about people being vegetarian. “Thats it of the story kids” said the teacher that was a very long story said all the students the rung “Well thats the lunch bell kids see you after lunch” said the teacher.
Kia ora Livia,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great piece of writing, and I like how the teacher in your story explained to her students how everyone became vegetarian.
One thing I think you could work on is describing some of the characters a bit more because it was your R.T. For example you could have described what the teacher looked like or what Freddie looked like.